East Coast vs. West Coast
Kathy Hrastar
Issue date: 9/7/06 Last update: 9/14/06 at 2:36 PM PST
Section: OpEd
- Page 1 of 1
The way I see it, one big difference between east coast vs. west coast people is that east coasters excel at complaint. Now, before you go running off and judging me about that, I must say I envy the strategy. It connects people.
Somewhere on the east coast:
Joe, to co-worker [growling]: It took me forever to get here. Can you believe this #$!&%$* weather? I was out for three hours scraping ice off my windshield, after tunneling since dawn through 14-foot snowdrifts just to find the #%$%!* car, but hell if I was gonna wait for a bus for five minutes in that $#@^#&^*!
Hank [nodding sympathetically]: You need a drink. Let's go for a pick-me-up in the employee lounge. I think Al's tending bar this morning.
[Joe and Hank exchange slaps on the back, loosen their ties, and exit stage left.]
But here, people respond differently. Stop being so negative! Be the change you want to see in the world! Shop at Berkeley Bowl!
Somewhere on the west coast:
Me, to co-worker [whining]: It took me forever to get here. I had to check the stove 37 times to make sure it was off, careful not to touch it or it could burst into flames. Then I searched the house for lit candles. I gathered all the matchbooks and stared at them for several minutes to confirm that they didn't spontaneously ignite. After I finally locked the front door, I got as far as the gate but had to go back to verify the stove was still off. Can you believe it?
Little Miss Sunshine [nodding optimistically]: Have you tried …Hypnosis? (Colon cleansing? Feng shui? Surfing? Spelunking? Abduction by aliens? A sex-change operation?) Whatever her therapy du jour, she joyfully recommends six friends-of-friends and provides flyers with shining testimonials.
So much for bonding by bitching. I'm a California girl now, with positive vibrations.
No more checking the stove. Now I keep full tea kettles on each burner. If the water boils, the kettles whistle. I simply stash a walkie talkie in my kitchen and the other in my pocket, so wherever I be, if I hear that whistling wind-oops, I left the stove on.
Who needs therapy?
Somewhere on the east coast:
Joe, to co-worker [growling]: It took me forever to get here. Can you believe this #$!&%$* weather? I was out for three hours scraping ice off my windshield, after tunneling since dawn through 14-foot snowdrifts just to find the #%$%!* car, but hell if I was gonna wait for a bus for five minutes in that $#@^#&^*!
Hank [nodding sympathetically]: You need a drink. Let's go for a pick-me-up in the employee lounge. I think Al's tending bar this morning.
[Joe and Hank exchange slaps on the back, loosen their ties, and exit stage left.]
But here, people respond differently. Stop being so negative! Be the change you want to see in the world! Shop at Berkeley Bowl!
Somewhere on the west coast:
Me, to co-worker [whining]: It took me forever to get here. I had to check the stove 37 times to make sure it was off, careful not to touch it or it could burst into flames. Then I searched the house for lit candles. I gathered all the matchbooks and stared at them for several minutes to confirm that they didn't spontaneously ignite. After I finally locked the front door, I got as far as the gate but had to go back to verify the stove was still off. Can you believe it?
Little Miss Sunshine [nodding optimistically]: Have you tried …Hypnosis? (Colon cleansing? Feng shui? Surfing? Spelunking? Abduction by aliens? A sex-change operation?) Whatever her therapy du jour, she joyfully recommends six friends-of-friends and provides flyers with shining testimonials.
So much for bonding by bitching. I'm a California girl now, with positive vibrations.
No more checking the stove. Now I keep full tea kettles on each burner. If the water boils, the kettles whistle. I simply stash a walkie talkie in my kitchen and the other in my pocket, so wherever I be, if I hear that whistling wind-oops, I left the stove on.
Who needs therapy?
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